I grew up almost exclusively eating with my family. Despite having a father who worked arduous hours at a variety of prestigious positions, a sister who tried her hand at practically every sport under the sun, a mother who maintained her hobbies while also being a mother of two, and me—an athlete turned thespian—my family ate together more often than not. And it wasn’t just a quick, 15 minute shove-food-down-our-throats-at-inopportune-hours-and-rush-off-to-the-next-event kind of meal. Our dinners were long, meandering affairs that frequently lasted well over an hour. We talked about aspects of our day, what we learned in school, what was going on in the world, crazy stories from work, or anything else on our minds. By the time we cleared the table and the dishes were sparkling clean again, it was usually almost 9pm.
When I went off to college, I didn’t anticipate missing this aspect of day-to-day life as much as I did. I found my eating habits were significantly altered now that I didn’t have people and conversation surrounding my meal. I either ate in front of my computer, picking at a pretty dismally thrown together meal while focusing on my work, or sat with Netflix as my company, eating everything in sight and trying to find the sense of fullness I was so used to.
But that fullness I was searching for wasn’t physiological or gastronomical, it was emotional. I missed that fullness and richness I used to have when conversation was just as important as the food in front of me.
Now that I am living in an apartment and have the means to cook meals that actually resemble something real actual adults should eat for dinner, I crave to fill that empty seat across from me at my tiny table. I invite friends and my boyfriend over to eat every chance I get. While I lament the fact that my boyfriend eats a lot and that I have no leftovers for lunch the next day, I love having that extra person at my table. I love hearing about how his day was or what projects he’s working on or the ridiculous things that annoying kid in his lit class said today.
I find that I feel full and satisfied at the end of a meal now. I am less likely to find myself poking around my fridge and cabinets later at night searching for something but finding everything not quite what I want.
Maybe I am just craving a sense of the routine I was raised on. But I strongly believe in the benefits of eating with loved ones. Eating with others increases and maintains happiness, decreases depression, and fosters a sense of belonging. Our busy lives and incompatible schedules may make communal meals feel unattainable. But I urge everyone to give it a try as often as you can. Even if it wasn’t a staple of your childhood, I encourage you to make it a part of your adulthood.
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